Seen

"Just a bit more of your life back."

Created: Aug 15, 2024

By

~5 min read


it was so shiny. something about it felt surreal. the reflection was perfect, and if it weren’t for a frame it’d take a while to recognize the mirror.

it wasn’t here before either. one day, it just… appeared. i’d just woken up, so it was easily brushed off - but then it stayed and suddenly a lot of questions appeared.

of course, none of them mattered when i eventually saw myself. my face didn’t match… at least i doubt it did. there was so much sorrow in its expression, you’d think they’d burst into tears. they wore a smile that, amongst the tears, left me reading them as pity.

the mirror wasn’t matching me - that much was clear by now. but maybe i was focusing hard on the expression to try and keep that thought out of my mind. nothing good would come out of questioning this - it was here, and there would be no reasonable explanation.

so i stayed looking, until the figure opened its mouth. “i’m sorry.” i’ll admit, that scared me. mind instantly began to race through all the reasons why they’d apologise, and i couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen. the mirror felt like danger now, and as i took a step back i noticed the figure’s eyes widen.

“oh, didn’t mean to scare you.”

reasonably speaking, they could have just been saying that - but something about their voice felt soothing. it felt trustworthy. a lot of weird things were happening, so “hypnosis” or “mind control” weren’t out of the question - but i still couldn’t help myself.

“what are you sorry for?” my fear betrayed me without knowing, and my voice came out a whimper. “everything.” i was confused, before then continuing. “which means…?” “it’s been so long. you remember the wounds. but the scars… they grew too slowly.”

instinctively, i looked at myself. obviously, i had scars - we all had accidents - yet after a while i started thinking more on the words…

“…the scars?” “the dark. it wraps you in its arms, sometimes. like a cloak. you feel it, right?”

there are days where i feel… worse. i can’t put my finger on it, but things just… don’t work as they should. nothing sustains me, everything breaks - and i have to hope that there’s enough left to carry me through the day. i thought it was weird, but some part of me long cast it as normal and moved on.

“it takes you. well… it used to. now, you seem to have some roots.” i had no intention to reply. their words were enveloping my mind, digging up all sorts of memories and thoughts. like clearing a fog, revealing the vista.

“you find yourself lost. but soon enough, it always leaves. then come the happy times. golden waves weaving themselves into the very light of the sun.” …but i still feel it, even then. something brooding in the distance, looking at me with a sneer. behind the me in the mirror, i could see it. like someone punched a hole in reality. it could barely be considered a thing, but here it was. looking at me.

“then come sunfall, the nightmare begins again. it’s exhausting, isn’t it?” the hole started to move, very slowly. or, i suppose, it grew. where it was, the hole still remained. the figure must have noticed, but rather than turn around, they grinned with the same sad glint in their eye.

“it’s here, even now. even summer has its cold days.” my heart began to beat faster. something in my stomach turned, and felt wrong. my fingers began to feel cold, and my eyes were struggling to stay focused. the hole simply kept moving closer.

“but. it’s been stronger. and we ran. didn’t we?” i began to look away, but then i heard a tremble in their voice- “no. please. keep looking.” that gave me some strength. my eyes moved back, and the hole had grown by so much that half the room was gone. the figure looked at me with the same sad face, now lacking the grin.

“this. we survived it once. you’ll survive it again.” survived. i suppose you could put it that way. “it’s fated to exist, the darkness. all of us have it. everyone. maybe yours is stronger. maybe you struggle when fighting it. maybe you don’t believe in your own strength. but every time you beat it…” the room was gone by this point. nothing existed within the mirror, except for me, and the void.

“…you win just a bit more of your life back.” with that, they were swallowed by the dark. the mirror grew cracks, and suddenly turned to dust - leaving nothing but a lump of powder on the ground.

it’s been a while. a long while. a jar has been by my side for years. originally, it held the powder, but it soon faded away. i remember mourning for a while when the last of it disappeared. the jar remains as a keepsake of that day.

sometimes i wonder what i saw in the mirror. did i imagine all of it? was it a dream that felt… real, for some reason? maybe a lucid experience? it’s hard to tell. all i know is that, nowadays, when i look into the mirror, i try to emulate what i saw. strength, from a face with a sad look in its eyes, and a smile of love and pity.

we all need strength, after all.